The Difference Between Then and Now

As I write this, I’m in my fifth week of working from home. Quite the switch from being a person that spent over ninety minutes or more driving to and from work, Monday through Friday. Moreover, I have not even been out in my car for over a week. I am “sheltering in place”.

I titled this post “The Difference Between Then and Now” to refer to how things were just two months ago versus how they are today and that could mean a great many things beyond far less time driving my car. There is one aspect that I am going to focus on in this post and it has to do with my attitude and how it has changed.

I used to wonder how some people had such a sunny disposition when I felt I didn’t. I figured it came naturally and I just didn’t get lucky that way (but I can dance, in case you are wondering..:-)) I theorized that perhaps if I somehow worked on it, I might be able to change this part of myself for the better. So, as I do, I got a bunch of books on the topic and began reading. But, you know how that works, a pile of books sitting by the bedside does not for change make. Even reading the books does not for change make. These are not the efforts that equate to results: Action is what it takes to make change.

In a parallel universe, as part of my morning routine, I took up writing in a stand alone journal for the purpose of expressing my gratitudes on a daily basis. Initially, it was a random list of varying lengths. After doing this for a couple of months, I noticed that I didn’t feel satisfied by these lists of thanks. And, what evolved is what I want to share in this post. I believe this daily practice of writing down my gratitudes and the way in which I do it, day in and day out for several years is what has shifted my outlook to being far more cheerful. This holds true for me now, no matter what is happening in my life.

As a testimony to this, the other night I was talking to a friend who asked me how things were going with my shelter in place. I immediately rattled off a list like this:

• I’m able to cook and eat my own food everyday which is so much better for my health.
• I don’t miss my commute.
• I have been able to spend so much more time with our new kitten.
• I have time to exercise every day.
• I’m wearing comfortable clothes to work every day.
• I have more time for reading and studying.

I’m not blind to the many negative aspects of what we are going through, it’s just that it’s not the first thing that comes out of my mouth. I’m not dwelling much on the frightening and depressing aspects so I’m not spending a lot of time being frightened and depressed. Instead, I’m doing the best I can to enjoy what I can. This comes directly from my gratitude practice and HOW I do my practice. This, then, is my HOW TO:

I’m a morning person so I do this practice before I start my day but it could be done at night just as easily.

Section 1:  Three things that went well yesterday.  This can be anything — superficial things like “we had crab cakes for dinner” to more profound things such as “I felt very peaceful at the end of meditation practice”.

Section 2:  Three things that I’m grateful for right now in this moment — again, anything goes here.

Section 3:  The things I’m always grateful for.  I split this into three sections — the first are things specific to myself such as my health, my yoga practice; the second are the relationships I am grateful for; and the third section are material things such as a roof over my head, a car to drive

Section 4:  The future — what am I going to be grateful for?  What am I looking forward to? I always include something for today and then things coming in time like a vacation, a visit with a friend or meeting a goal.

This whole process takes about five minutes.  I don’t over think it. And, yes, some parts of the list are fairly static day in and day out and that’s ok, because there are parts of my life that stay constant for long periods of time but I don’t want to neglect to take that moment to acknowledge their meaning to me.

As a peek into my “Always” list, one of the things that is always there are the folks that I come in contact with through yoga — my teachers and my students. At the end of each class that I lead, I acknowledge my gratitude for the students. I tell them that the spending time with them is the best part of my day. Now, that includes you for reading this post — thank you for giving me your time and attention.

Namaste, Arlene